"Walk With Mom" is a description, but also an invitation

Come walk with me.

Photo by Lili Popper on Unsplash

I decided to create “Walk With Mom” while I was, you guessed it, on a walk. I’m a writer, an educator, and an avid reader. When life throws challenges at me, I read. Reading helps me engage deeply with the experience and wisdom of others who have faced or considered the same challenges. And then after reading, I can develop my own thoughts, manage my emotions, and generate new ideas through the process of writing.

When my young adult daughter told me she was trans, it did not come as a surprise, though, on some visceral level, I was shocked. But once I shook off the shock, I sprung into action. I did what I always do. I read.

I read essays, articles, and books, and I sought as many views possible — from scientists, doctors, therapists, and trans activists, to those who identify (or once identified) as trans. I sought help from therapy, philosophy, podcasts, Youtube videos, religion, and other mothers going through the same challenge of parenting trans identified young people.

Ultimately, I took what I was learning, and I turned toward my relationship with my daughter.

For all of the intensity of feeling around the trans issue, I realized that I needed to reorient myself to the reality of my life. That is, in order to be the mother that my trans identified daughter (and my other children) needed me to be, I needed to reframe my situation. I refused to be a victim of my daughter’s pain or circumstance.

And here is what I asked myself, and what I ask myself still:

• How much can I control about her experience of life?

• How can I control how I respond to her experience?

• How can I protect her from harm?

These are the questions I have been dealing with since her announcement that she is trans. My writing here will be an attempt to address these questions and come up with positive solutions to one of my life’s most difficult challenges.

Ultimately, the name “Walk With Mom” is a description; essential conversations happen when we walk together toward the same destination. But it is also an invitation. Come walk with me. Come connect with me. Come on this terrifying journey of growing into a better version of ourselves so we can support a healthy relationship with our trans identified children.